We are living in a society where we, as women want to have it all – career, perfect looks, have the perfect kids, be the perfect mother, have the perfect social life……and the list goes on and on! In all these goal chasing lifestyle that we have created for ourselves, do we actually ever stop and think how all these affects our children? Do we ever take the time to really LISTEN to our kids? Or we are just so busy running from errand to errand that we run out of time for things like these?
Up until a few years ago I never really thought about it – after all I was too busy chasing my own goals! Meanwhile I am a mother of two young kids, and I have to say that this has been the most wonderful, amazing, difficult, frustrating at times, and at the same time self fulfilling journey. I still have goals that I am chasing, but meanwhile my complete outlook on priorities has changed…..and I am extremely grateful for that.
When our son was born, there were so many decisions to make. To name a few – do I go back to work, to what extent, do we put our son in nursery, how can we afford all this, and, and, and! I remember feeling very anxious at the time because I wanted to do the right thing. The right thing for whom? I remember talking about this with my husband, and he said one thing that completely changed my overview on priorities – he said that at the end of the day whether I go back to work or not is my decision and I need to do what feels right to me! Although deep down I knew all along what was the “right thing to do” under the circumstances, but to actually hear it lifted such a huge weight off my chest!
I decided to stay home and luckily we were also able to afford that! Eventually I also pursued my long term goal of starting my own event management business, which gave me a good balance to life with the kids. Of course there were difficult times, times of frustration, but up until this day I don’t regret my decision. Not only I don’t regret my decision, but I am so extremely grateful to have the opportunity to be there for my kids.
Obviously as a parent you never know whether you are doing the right thing, or whether you are reacting the right way, but what I have learned is that if I am open minded (and this is not always easy!) and just follow my gut instinct, then I will know what’s the right thing or reaction! No need to be kidding ourselves, every parent knows that at times this is easier said than done!
Throughout this journey I have noticed one very interesting phenomena – kids are much more sensitive then we can ever imagine, or we give them credit for! They pick on every little mood we are in, they sense when we are stressed out, or in a bad mood……..and interestingly enough they start acting accordingly! The experience that I have made with my kids is that whenever I am stressed out, they start acting out and are just being extremely difficult……and the same is when I have a bad day and am simply in a bad mood.
So, just imagine the effect our stressful lifestyle, day in / day out has on them and their development in the long run! Being a mom is such a rewording and at times frustrating job, but for me it is extremely important to not only watch my kids grow, but to grow with them! To grow into the mother that my kids would need and want in order for them to develop to their fullest potential. This is why I want to shift this month’s focus on children and how our stressful lifestyle affects them and their development…….and what we as parents can do not only to reduce this stress but to help them coop in the best possible way.
More on this in the weeks to come….
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