We are constantly surrounded by people – be it co-workers, friends, or family members! But do we ever stop and ask ourselves what kind of effect the people we are surrounded by have on us, our wellbeing and even health? Motivational speaker and American entrepreneur Jim Rohn said that “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Were you aware of that? I certainly wasn’t!
Sometimes without realizing it we spend too much time with people that are “toxic”. You might ask, what is a “toxic” person? Well, some of the characteristics you might find in toxic people are, that they:
- are always negative
- always complaining
- have nothing good to say about the others
- create drama for no reason
- are always the victim
- are very judgmental
- like to gossip
- like to control
- might be dishonest at times
- are not supportive
- don’t let go
- find a problem to every solution
So just by reading through this list you can imagine the negative and life sucking effect such a people have on our wellbeing and lives! There is enough stress in our everyday life, so we don’t need to add even more negativity just by been around the “wrong” people. I absolutely love this quote by Karl Marx “Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you’re in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through.”
When you surround yourself with positive people, it is much easier for you to be yourself, and follow your dreams and goals! These people put you at ease and they like you for who you are, they don’t judge you, and most importantly they are supportive of what you want in life. It is extremely important to surround yourself with positive people because they are the ones that build you up, they are the ones that give you the energy and believe in difficult moments!
I know that a lot of times we don’t even realize that we have a friend, co-worker or even someone in the family that is “toxic”. This is why it is so important (just like with anything else in life), to evaluate all your relationships, who do you spend a lot of time with, and how each one of these relationships is affecting you. So once you are done reading, I want you to write the names of the five people you spend the most time with, and note down:
- how do they make you feel when you spend time together?
- how do you feel after you have spend time with them – are you energized, are you drained, how do you feel?
- are they encouraging and supporting you in achieving your goals (no matter how ridiculous your goals might be), or are they disapproving every step you make?
- can you be your true self around them?
- why should you keep them in your life?
Once you have done this little exercise, it will become very clear to you whether you should continue your close relationship with these five people, or whether you need to let go of one or another relationship. Of course it is never easy to let go of people, but I believe that letting go of “toxic” people is essential for your wellbeing and long terms health! I personally have made that experience a few times, where I simply had to let go of people close to me that were affecting me in a very negative way. As selfish as it might sound, I believe that in order to have a happy and healthy relationship with yourself, first and foremost you have to think of yourself and what is best for you.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic, as well as the results of the little exercise above!
Photo by © Robert Kneschke / Fotolia.com
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